A Very Sirius Christmas
by fufulupin
Summary: It's holiday-time at Hogwarts and Sirius has taken it upon himself to bring cheer to his fellow Marauders.


A/N: Oh, it's been so long since I wrote a happy Marauder fic! –does a little dance- Well, the plot bunnies were on a rampage last night and wouldn't let me sleep 'till about midnight, forcing me to write this. Hope you enjoy the insanity!

Disclaimer: Everything's J.K.'s. And sadly, I'm not her.

"Padfoot, are you sure you want to wear that?"

James Potter's voice was as dubious as the look on his handsome face as he surveyed his best friend. Sirius Black grinned in return.

"Why not? I think I look smashing!"

"Yeah, smashingly ridiculous," James mumbled. Remus Lupin hid a snicker by placing a hand over his own grin and averting his eyes.

Sirius seemed not at all put-off by the reaction he was getting from his fellow Marauders. He continued to beam. "If you think this is great, just wait 'till you see what I've got planned for you, Prongs!"

James took a jerky step backward into a Gryffindor sofa. "No way. I am not going along with this one."

"Why not? It's the Christmas spirit after all."

Peter Pettigrew chuckled. Remus' grin widened.

"He has a point, Jamesy."

"No," James repeated stubbornly. "Sirius, have you even looked at yourself?"

"Of course." Sirius's grin grew, if possible, even brighter. "I look dashing. Plus, I'm shiny!"

"You're shedding," James corrected, casting a nervous glance at the pine needles littering the lion-adorned rug. "The prefects are going to curse the hell out of you."

"Will not," Remus assured, looking thoroughly entertained. "I save my curses for Slytherins, not my friends."

"B-but…," James protested, staring at Sirius. "You look…like…"

What Sirius looked like was a six-foot tall Christmas tree, complete with lights, ornaments, and a star perched jauntily atop his dark hair. He had cast a minor Transfiguration spell on himself, making pine needles grow from his entire body, save for his feet and face. He seemed quite proud of himself, especially after springing from behind a chair and scaring Peter out of his wits when the chubby boy came down the staircase.

"I don't look half as good as you will in a minute," he announced, brandishing his wand at James. "You'll be just dandy as soon as I give you a proper nose."

"A nose?" James looked horrified as he clamped both hands over the middle of his face. "I've already got a nose, thanks." He was quite proud of it too, and didn't at all like the idea of a madman like Sirius Black messing with it.

"Not as good as this one," Sirius replied, waving his wand. "Crimsonion!"

A large red circle appeared in the center of James' face, engulfing his nose completely and looking frighteningly like the snout of a Muggle clown. Panicked, James tugged on the circle, but it appeared to be fused to his face.

"No!" he shouted. "Lily can't see me like this, get it off!"

Ignoring his friend's pleas, Sirius circled James, dropping needles as he went. "You're missing something….ah ha!"  
"Nooo!" James wailed, but stag horns were already sprouting from his skull so he looked like he had begun the usual transformation into Prongs and got bored halfway through. Remus howled with laughter.

"Suits you," he managed between cackles. Sirius rounded on him.

"Your turn!" the insane Marauder said cheerfully. Remus' laughter abruptly halted and he tried to scuttle behind a chair, but it was far too late by then. Waving his wand, Sirius transformed the quiet werewolf into a thin, beardless Santa Claus, complete with hat and bag of gifts. Remus paled.

"Sirius! I look so…red!"

Now Peter was the one dying of laughter, but not for long. One wave of his wand, and Sirius had transformed him in a chubby green elf.

"We're perfect!" Sirius announced over Peter's shrieks. "Time to spread the cheer!"

The others fell silent for a full thirty seconds, staring blankly at him.

"Are you bloody joking?!" James exploded, still yanking on his nose.

"I'm not going out in this!" Remus yelled.

"Green is not my color!" Peter announced to the world.

Sirius was already clomping toward the portrait hole, dragging his "associates" behind him by some sort of tractor beam emitted from his wand. "Come on," he ordered gleefully. "We'll be making everyone happy! Moony, be sure to chuck those presents at everyone, even Slytherins. Don't be stingy. Ooh, and Prongs, look at what your honker does!"

At these words, James' new nose turned blindingly fluorescent red and shot sparks in every direction. The boy moaned in annoyance as the Fat Lady swung open.

"If Lily sees me—"

James' threat was cut short. The pretty redhead was standing just outside with what appeared to be half the school. And, James was not pleased to see, she was holding a Muggle camera to her face.

"Smile boys!" she called. "This is for my new Christmas cards!"

"NOO!" three of the four shouted, trying vainly to cover their faces. Sirius allowed himself to be photographed before raising his wand.

"Join the festivities, Lily!" he cried, sending a blast of light at her. When the brightness cleared, a red-headed snow-woman was standing in Lily's place, shivering.

"Sirius!" she screamed. "I'm f-f-freezing!"

He laughed hysterically along with the mob of people crowded around the portrait hole.

"I'm going to get frostbitten!" she moaned, handing her camera over to a random Ravenclaw and curling her sticks into fists. She took after Sirius, dragging the other boys with her.

Several minutes later, Dumbledore saw a very odd scene taking place through his window. A snowman, elf, St. Nick, and a reindeer seemed to be chasing a giggling Christmas tree. He shook his head and chuckled.

Holidays at Hogwarts certainly were interesting.


End file.
